hell yes lets make some ravioli
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize