haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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