And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
