first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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