This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My bed smells like the plague
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
