Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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