Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
