I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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