hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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