Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
