I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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