i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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