Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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