he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
