I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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