I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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