just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
