Don't you send me to vm
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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