Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize