I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
