so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
