you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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