Whod you bang
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
