Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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