I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So much Jack, so little girl.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
