What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
