when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
