I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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