He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
