Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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