win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
