i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize