Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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