Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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