I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
