I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
