I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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