sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
