would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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