he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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