I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
