try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize