Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
