I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Acid is not a monday night drug
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I have post one night stand depression
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
