Christians are straight up FREAKS
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
