During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm getting married
To pizza
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
