why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
