i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
