carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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