so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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