There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Terrible idea I love it
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
