morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
