Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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