I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
