you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
