That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
