just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
