take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm really busy with my period
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