My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
