Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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