I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
