WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So many bounce houses so little time
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
