oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
