Taylor Swift is so right about you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize