it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
there is glitter all over my balls
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
