i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
